Engagement Rings Advice : Wedding, Marriage, Anniversary

The development is swift. What can be said truthfully for one country today might not be correct a few years from now. A short and superficial analysis of the present situation in various countries may indicate the rapid changes. Strong patriarchal societies do not exist any more among cultured peoples. The last stronghold of masculine supremacy disappeared with the abolition of polygamy in Turkey and China. The change was not merely an administrative matter, but an expression of the alteration in women’s position. China may perhaps still be considered slowest in regard to feminine emancipation. Except in the larger cities, men still may take concubines and not incur social disapprobation. They can even take a second wife without formality of divorce, provided the first wife has not borne a son. The social position of a woman is still enhanced by her having a son, although she is no longer completely worthless without one. In Chinese cities, women already participate in political, cultural, and gymnastic activities, something which always indicates social equality.

The situation in Germany is very interesting. World War I brought a definite and rapid trend toward equality, checked by the rise of National Socialism. For fascism revealed its reactionary character by its many feudalistic signs, often not recognized, and by its tendency to reinstate masculine hegemony. It reduced woman to her former place in the home and regarded as her main duty her function of breeder. It fostered some kind of polygamy by encouraging men to beget children freely. In reestablishing a slave society in some occupied countries, women “slaves” were used mainly as sexual objects and were even deported to houses of prostitution.

In Russia, the trend toward equality accelerated swiftly after the revolution. Women were granted more rights than they had been accorded anywhere else. But despite all legal equality, Russia still retained some signs of being a man’s country. And the recent trend shows some definite reversion, expressed in the reinstated rules again giving the authorities the right to interfere and regulate the private sex life of the citizen. Early attempts to accept women as combatants in the army were later discouraged, and their place in the regular army is still disputed. Political power is still predominantly in the hands of men. This discrepancy between legal and factual equality is characteristic of the present conditions all over the world. An initial advance has been made in many countries by the establishment of constitutional equality, but practice lags.

Any frank discussion about the position of women in the United States is bound to meet with opposition. Our individual conceptions, based on tradition, cultural background, and education, dispose us to accept or reject certain facts and create emotions obstructing objective and causal analysis. Should we conclude that women actually have the same privileges as men, we would please many women. They would like to hear it, for they are proud of “their” achievements. Even some men would agree, either with a condescending smile, or with the complaint that women already have too many rights. Unfortunately for both of them, unbiased evaluation reveals facts which would irritate their complacency. Because-whether they like to hear it or not-women in America do not yet have full privileges. Anyone who wants to believe that equality is already established discloses thereby only his own patriarchal point of view, his fear that further progress would mean feminine supremacy. Women themselves add to the confusion. They bask in the glory of imaginary superiority, a delusion fostered by men who wish to divert women’s attention from the real prize at stake. Let us face the facts: the four rights which we have defined, namely, political, social, economic, and sexual, are not yet equally accorded to women and men.

Politically: The Constitution concedes women the same rights as men. But, can women avail themselves of them? Full feminine suffrage is undisputed, but in practice women’s eligibility to office is definitely limited. Even women can scarcely imagine a woman as a good president of the United States-although they reaffirm their belief in full equality. Men who for many reasons look up to women dispute emphatically their political acumen. (How wrong they are!)

Socially: It is in this field that American women have come closest to equality and, in some respects, may even appear to have transgressed it. But this superficial appearance is due to man’s disdain of social “triviality.” As a real test, a single man is still socially more acceptable than a lone woman. At a social function, extra women are as dreaded as extra men are desirable. A woman marrying beneath her social level risks more than a man in like case, and, most Significant of all, women still accept the names of their husbands, and not vice versa.

Economically and professionally: Although statistics show that most of American property is owned by women - who manage the money? Definitely, men-who constitute the vast majority of financial executives. No one should be deceived by the fact that some women occupy high positions in business and commerce. They are still the exceptions; and as a rule feminine work is generally considered less valuable, as expressed in the lower wages that women receive for doing the same work as men. Few women who are so proud of their present status know that even today many universities either exclude their feminine faculty members from participation at university clubs or permit their entrance to the club rooms only through the rear door. Women are practically excluded from many professions, more de facto than de jure. Ask any woman physician about the many odds against which she has had to struggle. We rarely find women engineers, and the army and navy are still masculine prerogatives despite very recent inroads. Moreover, it is the general consensus that in times of widespread unemployment women should give up their jobs rather than have men remains idle. Whereas it is considered natural that men support their wives, a husband dependent financially upon his wife is regarded with contempt. Many marital problems have their origin in the conviction of men that masculinity is proved mainly through financial support. Women, successful in business, very often demonstrate overtly their tendency to behave “like a man,” thereby demonstrating their doubt that they can be as good by being just a woman.

Sexually: All the sexual aggressiveness, for which American women are famous, cannot conceal the facts that, for the most part, women still wait for their man and not vice versa. Many tragedies in the love life of American women are caused by their desire to look up to the man whom they love. This spells tragedy, because it is very difficult for our well-educated and sophisticated girls to find a man who is superior to them, and when they do find him they resent his superiority and challenge it. Many girls refuse to go out with a boy shorter than they, although they like to look down on boys. Marriages in which the woman is her husband’s senior are increasing in number, but still form a small minority. A woman is ashamed to admit that her husband is not superior, because it would mean he is not a “real man.”

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